FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Jeffrey Wright
Burger Planet
801-865-9499
801-865-9498
jeffreywright1618@gmail.com
www.burgerplanet.com
Burger Planet is now healthier than ever!
GARY, Indiana Feb. 3rd 2008- Jayne Petersen is the chief in town when it comes to Burger planet and a new healthy lifestyle. She has taken charge and knows how to make your life healthier. Find out the changes that Jayne Petersen is making to make one of your favorite burger places better for your everyday life style.
Burger Planet is still the same great place but now there is healthier choices to help meet your everyday life style with the same great taste and friendly service you have always received here at Burger Planet. Burger Planet was founded in 1934 and has always had their customer’s interest at heart and they are still doing this today.
"it's a great idea to add more health-conscious items to our menu…" said James E. Muellenbach III but in saying this Muellenbach doesn’t want the people to forget what they are all about and that is there wonderful burger and fries. That’s what made this company what it is . There are a lot of great ways to eat healthy. You may still get your favorite burger when you come to Burger planet but that doesn’t always mean you have to go with everything else. Petersen has brought new healthier items to our menu that can help you still have that great burger you have enjoyed for a number of years but maybe cut back on your side items and go with apples or other healthier options.
"Well, I emphasize a message of moderation. Women can have a burger and fries now and then as long as they are active and also try some of Burger Planet's exciting new menu choices, such as the fruit packages." Said Jayne Petersen.
It is important for kids and families to eat healthier and Corny the clown is doing just that. He loves the taste of Burger planet’s hamburgers but exercises daily to keep in shape. He has been around showing kids how to stay in shape and visiting the local malls. He too loves the burgers but knows that he needs to cut back on his fries and eat some healthier sides. His most important thing is having regular exercise.
We think that it is important to eat right and stay healthy by having a regular exercise program. You can still enjoy the things you love at burger planet and still eat healthy. Come and try the new things that we have to offer to help you stay on track to a healthy lifestyle.
END
Monday, February 4, 2008
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2 comments:
Make a title more specific. What is more healthy?
Make city, state and date in dateline AP style.
Your lead sounds more like a sales pitch than an informative peice.
Your CEO quote has gramatical and AP style mistakes.
Avoid contractions.
I want media contact info at the end, along with a call to action sentence.
I did not find a boilerplate.
Watch your capitalizations.
I think it needs more paragraphs. Look at AP style. You ordered things okay.
...And same as what Preston said.
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